Funny Article

Those who know me know that Dave Barry is probably my favorite humor columnist. I get a kick out of everything he writes. Anyway, I was reading an article of his and decided to post some of it for those who are unfamiliar with him.
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"Oh, swell: We have yet another survey showing that men, when compared to women, are scum. Just once, I'd like to see some survey asking questions that would highlight areas where men are more likely to be superior, such as:

1. If it was an emergency, could you open a beer bottle with your teeth?

2. How many hours per week, total, do you spend fretting about your thighs?

3. Do you have the emotional stability to make a meaningful lifelong commitment, through good times and bad, to a set of underwear?

4. If another person is not saying anything, and you're wondering if this might be because something is bothering that person, and you ask that person what that person is thinking, and that person says ''Nothing,'' do you accept this perfectly reasonable answer, or do you proceed to NAG THE PERSON HALF TO DEATH?

But do we see these questions on surveys? We do not. Instead we see questions like the ones asked in a recent survey by the U.S. Department of Labor. Having apparently run completely out of useful things to do, the department asked 21,000 Americans how they spend their time when they're not working.

It turned out that women spend twice as much time as men on household chores and child care, while men spend more time on leisure. On the surface, this looks bad. But surface looks are often deceiving. A good example is the iceberg, which appears to be a big hunk of ice, but if you look beneath the surface, you find that it is ... OK, it is actually a big hunk of ice. So we see that this is in fact not a good example, and we should just move on.

But my point is that this survey is very misleading. Take the concept of ''housework.'' It may be true that women spend more TIME on it, but what, really, are they accomplishing? In my own home, my wife spends a lot of time picking up our 4-year-old daughter's doll clothes and laboriously putting them back on the various naked Barbies, the naked Snow White, the naked Ariel the mermaid, and the incredibly lucky naked Ken.

When my wife does this, she is clearly working, but she is not what a man would call ''working smart.'' A man knows from harsh real-world experience that all of these dolls will soon be naked again, and so he makes a conscious decision to leave the dressing of the dolls, and the cleaning of his daughter's room in general, until a more sensible and productive time, such as when his daughter enters college. But does this man get any slack from the so-called ''Department of Labor?'' He does not.

And let's talk about child care vs. leisure. For women, these are two separate activities, but men have perfected a productivity-enhancing technique called ''multitasking.'' Say a man is supposed to watch a child, but he also wants to watch a football game. Thanks to ''multitasking,'' this man can keep one eye on the football game, while at the same time keeping the other eye also on the football game. But in some remote sector of his brain he is vaguely aware that there is a child around somewhere, and if he hears anything suspicious, such as sirens or an explosion, he will respond immediately, unless it is a crucial third-down situation.

Speaking of which: I was once at a Thanksgiving gathering where there was a backyard touch-football game involving all the guys except one -- I will call him ''Fred'' -- who was watching us while holding his infant daughter. My team was short one player, and we were in a crucial third-down situation, so we looked over at ''Fred'' -- an excellent receiver -- and, after making us swear we would never tell his wife, he very carefully set his daughter down on the lawn and joined the game for a single play, which resulted in Joel -- excuse me, I mean ''Fred'' -- scoring a touchdown. This never would have happened if we had allowed ourselves to be shackled by the rigid, inflexible definitions of ''leisure'' and ''child care'' that have for so long enslaved women and the so-called ``Department of Labor.''
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Go Red Sox!

What a series! A clean sweep. I thought that Johnny Damon would have received the MVP. I will admit, I did hop on the Red Sox bandwagon. My sister is working in downtown Boston now and I imagine she had the time of her life last night!
Billy made a great dinner lastnight, he worked really hard to make it nice for me and he did a great job! Our place is starting to look like a home now. We've got some pictures on the walls and books on the bookshelves. Our bedroom furniture got delivered last weekend, it is so beautiful! Its craftsman style solid oak headboard and footboard with a matching bureau and mirror. Its huge though. It makes our room look kind of small. But that's ok, we're not going to live there forever.
The wedding is now 51 days away. Yes I am counting down. I am a girl, I'm allowed.

Posting a comment / 2004 Elections

There seems to be some confusion regarding how to leave a comment. For those familiar with making a Blog, you can now have people post comments in Blogger itself instead of bringing in an outside source like Haloscan. However, the problem is you can only post your name if you have a Blogger account...otherwise you must post as anonymous. So, if you desire to make yourself known to the world, go ahead and include your name in the actual comment. I apologize for the trouble, but it just makes it a thousand times easier for us to manage the blog.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting sick and tired of all this campaigning. I love politics and I have very strong beliefs in that area, but it just reaches the point where you say, "Ok already, can we vote yet?!?" Everyone with half a brain has already made up their minds (or had them made up for them) and I think we are all ready to vote. Along those same lines, I don't mean to offend anyone, but how can anybody still be undecided? That is just plain crazy. People who wait until they are in the voting booth to make their choice scare me to death. I understand that some people feel they are being forced to decide between two evils, but the decision should have been made a long time ago.

Have you noticed Katie still hasn't posted anything on this blog yet? Someone needs to get her butt in gear!

Disneymania!!!!!

We went to Disneyland on Saturday with my parents. While we were down there we met up with my Uncle Jim and my Aunt Trudy who were already spending a few days down there. We had a great time. They completely re-did the Haunted Mansion and made it into a "Nighmare Before Christmas" ride....sweet! I was expecting a few decorations here or there, but seriously, the whole ride was completely different and it was like going on it for the first time. If you get the chance to go to Disneyland sometime between now and Christmas, don't forget to go on that ride.

As we were leaving the park my mom and Katie decided to go on the rocketships before we left...you know, the little rocketships that go around and around, and you can adjust the elevation. Bear in mind that this is a children's ride...it is designed to hold 2, maybe 3, small to medium sized chidren. Two full grown adults is a completely different story. My mom was the first to sit down, and lo and behold, there was no room for Katie to sit. I could see there was no room from where I was standing outside the ride and I just assumed they would give up and give some eager waiting youngsters a chance. Well, my mom never willing to admit defeat, yells at Katie "Get in here!" and Katie not wanting to upset her future mother-in-law just kind of climbs up and plops down on my mom's lap. This whole time both of them, and all four of us on the outside, are laughing non-stop. Well, they start squirming around and within a few seconds both of them have something sorta resembling their own seat. Well, everything would have been fine....but then there is the problem with the seat belt. The Disney employee comes around and asks them where their seat belt is. They respond that they have no idea. They weren't kidding. Turns out they were both sitting on the seatbelt, and even when they got it out from under both of them (which is quite a feat when you consider that they were practically sitting on each other in this confined space) it doesn't fit around them. Well, to make a long story short, after 5 minutes of 2 frustrated Disney employees, 5 hysterically laughing people, one taunting uncle, and a whole ride full of impatient children, they got to enjoy the ride for about a minute in which the only thing anyone could hear was the two of them laughing as they went around and around and around. Good times!

Welcome To Our Blog!

For those of you who do not know what a blog is, a blog is basically an online journal. Either I or Katie can log on at any time and write whatever we want. I of course will be doing this when I have some free time, and Katie will be doing this from work. We thought this might be a fun way to let people keep up with us and our exciting and busy lives. We expect to update this often with weddings news, information about ourselves, quotes, pictures, funny stories, and pretty much anything that tickles our fancy. It may be quite random or informative, we have no idea. Best wishes to everyone and we hope to be reading some of your comments in the near future.