Our Lovely Neighbors

One of the reasons we are so anxious to own a house and leave our apartment is because of our neighbors. I don't think I'd be lying if I say they are perhaps the most disgusting people in the world, and recently, they have declared war on us.

It all started when Katie and I decided we wanted a little privacy in our backyard, so we bought a really cheap bamboo fence to set up along side the chain-link fence that is already there. No big deal we thought, our neighbors would probably appreciate the privacy themselves. Boy were we wrong. I knew we were going to have problems, because as I was putting the fence up, I hear the boyfriend scream and the girlfriend, "What, do they think we have some kind of #@!$ing disease!?!" Well, it's been downhill from there.

First, there is the smell. You know someone smells when you can smell them all the way out in the parking lot almost 50 feet away. Yes they smoke, and that doesn't help, but I honestly think I've only heard the shower running in their apartment a couple times since we've lived there. The other day they were "airing out" their apartment by opening up all their windows and doors. I kid you not, I had to go into the apartment with the dogs and shut all the windows and doors, and light about 5 scented candles to keep from throwing up.

Then there's the mysterious loogie on our Camry. One night as Katie was coming home, someone was parked in our space, so she had to park further down, unfortuantely by where the boyfriend usually parks. The next morning, what do you know, there was a gigantic loogie on our car that looked like we had been attacked by a flock of pigeons. Of course we have no "proof" that this guy did it, but nobody I have met in our complex is quite that vile.

Third, there's the cigarette butts in the front of our house. We have overheard the girlfriend telling the guy, "I don't want your [blanky blank] cigarette butts in front of our house." Lo and behold!, the next day they start appearing in OUR front yard instead.

Just wait, there's more. These people can actually procreate and have two children. "Don't play in front of our apartment!" I heard him say a few days ago to his kids, "Go play on the sidewalk over there" It just so happens that the "sidewalk over there" is directly in front of our apartment. Does that make any sense? Don't play soccer on the big, grassy field in front of us, go play soccer in the narrow strip of sidewalk over there where you are bound to hit the apartment [OUR apartment] every single time.

I could go on. There is the mysterious large turd that magically appeared in our backyard that is almost the size of both my dogs combined. There is the cussing, the loud fighting at 2 am in the morning, and the latest favorite of theirs: telling all their friends and family to park in our parking space when they come over to visit them.

All of this because we decided we wanted a little privacy. Geesh. People keep telling us to complain or call the police or something, and we might have to if things keep up. The reason we haven't is because we had assumed that they were like children: all they wanted was attention, and if we ignored them, the problems would go away. Well we're still ignoring them and the problems are still popping up, so we'll have to see what the near future holds. Anyway, if you decide to visit us in the near future, feel free to bring by some cigarette butts and we'll put them to good use.